Hello

I’m Courtenay, but I go by Xave.

Yesterday I turned 36, and it’s made me stop and think a bit.

When I was younger, I thought by this age I’d have everything completely together - married, kids, a house with a picket fence and a dog.

The reality looks a bit different.

I have a house (no fence), stepkids, I’m engaged to be married in November, and I somehow have 50+ little fish.

It’s not what I imagined, but I really love it.

I saw something recently about “reverse bucket lists” - looking at what you’ve already done instead of what you haven’t — and it made me realise how many unexpected parts of my life have brought me the most happiness.

I’d never have put working in a casino or a call centre on any kind of plan, but those are the places where I met my partner and made friends I’ll have for life!

This has led me to maybe not put pressure on myself with the belief that I don't need to chase unrealistic dreams to reach happiness. So, this space is where I’m documenting my move towards a simpler life - reducing decision fatigue, building steady routines, and putting my energy into the things that actually matter.

I’d love to know - what’s something that was never on your “bucket list” but ended up shaping your life?